 If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later. |
| Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others. |
| Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it. |
| What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself. |
| What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin. |
| Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. |
| Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. |
| The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it. |
| Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. |
| Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. |
| I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places. |
| Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream. |
| Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it. |
| Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. |
| Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. |
| There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy. |
| Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. |
| When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear. |
| The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right. |
| Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with. |
