 Performers like Tommy Cooper, who are always getting things wrong, are much more endearing than comedians who are sassy and smart. Author: Adrian Edmondson
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| Unions in wedlock are perverted by the victory of shameless passion that masters the female among men and beasts. Author: Aeschylus
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| I hate female men. Author: Agnes Smedley
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| There are many men - such as those often to be found among the Indians - who are refined until they have qualities often attributed to the female sex. Yet they are men, and strong ones. Author: Agnes Smedley
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| In the pregnancy process I have come to realize how much of the burden is on the female partner. She's got a construction zone going on in her belly. Author: Al Roker
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| Ever since I was a kid, I just loved those comedians on TV who would just have fun with the language. Author: Alan Rudolph
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| People that haven't seen us yet are shocked because they think that Alice Cooper must be a female folksinger. They don't expect the whole thing. Author: Alice Cooper
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| A lot of comedians, when they have a bad gig, will blame everything but themselves. They'll blame the crowd, or the room was wrong, it had a weird vibe, or the promoter promoted a weird atmosphere. Author: Allan Carr
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| Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul. Author: Ambrose Bierce
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| I'm not convinced that what are traditionally considered to be male energies or qualities or female energies or qualities really have as much to do with gender as many people think they do. Author: Andrew Cohen
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| The excitement that you were feeling about a special, unique path for yourself as a woman is all part of your identification with and attachment to being female. And that's ultimately all ego. Author: Andrew Cohen
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| I think the book struck me in a few ways that I thought very interesting to pick it as my first martial arts film. It has a very strong female character and it was very abundant in classic Chinese textures. Author: Ang Lee
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| It's every woman's tragedy, that, after a certain age, she looks like a female impersonator. Mind you, we've known some lovely female impersonators, in our time. Author: Angela Carter
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| The notion of a universality of human experience is a confidence trick and the notion of a universality of female experience is a clever confidence trick. Author: Angela Carter
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| They're right to think that about me, because I'm the person most likely to sleep with my female fans, I genuinely love other women. And I think they know that. Author: Angelina Jolie
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| I would even go to Washington, which is saying something for me, just to glimpse Jane Q. Public, being sworn in as the first female president of the United States, while her husband holds the Bible and wears a silly pill box hat and matching coat. Author: Anna Quindlen
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| The clearest explanation for the failure of any marriage is that the two people are incompatible; that is, that one is male and the other female. Author: Anna Quindlen
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| To what derision should I be exposed from a thousand quarters!- An unlearned female entering the lists of criticism against the mighty Johnson! Author: Anne Seward
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| It would be futile to attempt to fit women into a masculine pattern of attitudes, skills and abilities and disastrous to force them to suppress their specifically female characteristics and abilities by keeping up the pretense that there are no differences between the sexes. Author: Arianna Huffington
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| When I first started editing GQ, it gave the impression of being, and in fact was, a gay magazine. There were female models in it and there were women on the cover, but the boys were always much, much more beautiful than the girls. Author: Art Cooper
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| One of the greatest gifts of Black feminism to ourselves has been to make it a little easier simply to be Black and female. Author: Barbara Smith
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| My only problem is finding a way to play my fortieth fallen female in a different way from my thirty-ninth. Author: Barbara Stanwyck
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| I think the Mother is gradually revealing itself to me and taking over. But it is not the Mother alone. It is the Mother and the Father, the male and the female, sort of gradually having their marriage. Author: Bede Griffiths
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| I do a lot of Vegas work and work with the comedians. Author: Ben E. King
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| Whatever talent I had, I'm sure it helped that my parents were in the business and that I grew up around actors, comedians and directors. Author: Ben Stiller
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| We used to have a main female vocalist. But she had a baby. Now we do the singing ourselves. Author: Bernie Worrell
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| Sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice! That's the condition of the female. Women have been conditioned to sacrifice for centuries. Author: Betty Dodson
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| In the seventies we had to make it acceptable for people to accept girls and women as athletes. We had to make it okay for them to be active. Those were much scarier times for females in sports. Author: Billie Jean King
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| It is very hard to be a female leader. While it is assumed that any man, no matter how tough, has a soft side... and female leader is assumed to be one-dimensional. Author: Billie Jean King
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| It's incredible how nature sets females up to take care of people, and yet it is tricky for them to take care of themselves. Author: Bjork
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| Usually when you see females in movies, they feel like they have these metallic structures around them, they are caged in by male energy. Author: Bjork
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| In terms of the black female audience, usually if you're true to that character but more so in your body of work if you've proven that you love your sisters and you proven you will come back home like in 42.4% they'll give you a pass when you jump ship. I hear it all the time. Author: Blair Underwood
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| Comedians are never really on vacation because you're always at attention... that antenna is always out there. Author: Bob Newhart
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| It was a decision to work clean. I just prefer to work that way. I have no problem with comedians who don't work that way. There was a temptation in the early '70s to reconsider. I decided against it. Author: Bob Newhart
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| It's 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It's enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren't there that are alive. Author: Bob Saget
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| I have worked with a great many comedians as opposed to comics, although I have worked with comics as well, I make the distinction. Author: Bobby Darin
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| He had not yet learned that the only safe male rebuke to a scornful female is to stay away from her - especially if that is what she desires. Author: Booth Tarkington
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| Never be possessive. If a female friend lets on that she is going out with another man, be kind and understanding. If she says she would like to go out with the Dallas Cowboys, including the coaching staff, the same rule applies. Author: Bruce Jay Friedman
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| If civilization had been left in female hands we would still be living in grass huts. Author: Camille Paglia
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| There is no female Mozart because there is no female Jack the Ripper. Author: Camille Paglia
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| Comedians are really writers who don't have pens and pencils about them, but they riff. Author: Carl Reiner
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| If we do no mean that God is male when we use masculine pronouns and imagery, then why should there be any objections to using female imagery and pronouns as well? Author: Carol P. Christ
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| The simplest and most basic meaning of the symbol of the Goddess is the acknowledgment of the legitimacy of female power as a beneficent and independent power. Author: Carol P. Christ
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| I do like to look at female drummers, because I am one. Author: Caroline Corr
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| Oh, I wouldn't want to go on a date with a female celebrity. I'd rather go on a date with a real woman. Author: Casper Van Dien
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| Cartooning is a wonderful career, and I'd like more women to get to have it. I can't think of any reason why we won't see more syndicated female cartoonists in the future. Author: Cathy Guisewite
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| Cathy was the first widely syndicated humor strip created by a woman. The strip was pretty revolutionary at the time not only because it starred a female, but also because it was so emotionally honest about all the conflicting feelings many women had in 1976. Author: Cathy Guisewite
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| I'd love to see more equal representation of female and male cartoonists on the comics page. Author: Cathy Guisewite
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| It's nice to have a great female composer in the program and add her color. Author: Cecilia Bartoli
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| The female of the genus homo is economically dependent on the male. He is her food supply. Author: Charlotte Perkins Gilman
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| There is no female mind. The brain is not an organ of sex. As well speak of a female liver. Author: Charlotte Perkins Gilman
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| Upon the union of the male germ cell with the female egg cell, a new cell is created which almost immediately splits into two parts. One of these grows rapidly, creating the human body of the individual with all its organs, and dies only with the individual. Author: Christian Lous Lange
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| But it's a Broadway show, so even if you're Christine in Phantom, you're still a princess. All female leads are princesses whether they're Disney princesses or not. Author: Christy Romano
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| In individual industries where female labour pays an important role, any movement advocating better wages, shorter working hours, etc., would not be doomed from the start because of the attitude of those women workers who are not organized. Author: Clara Zetkin
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| The capitalists speculate on the two following factors: the female worker must be paid as poorly as possible and the competition of female labour must be employed to lower the wages of male workers as much as possible. Author: Clara Zetkin
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| Anthropology in general has always been fairly hospitable to female scholars, and even to feminist scholars. Author: Clifford Geertz
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| I have this theory that the likeability question comes up so much more with female characters created by female authors than it does with male characters and male authors. Author: Curtis Sittenfeld
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| In the sex war, thoughtlessness is the weapon of the male, vindictiveness of the female. Author: Cyril Connolly
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| That's why modern corporate movie making has become so laborious that comedians are kind of kicked out by 50. Author: Dana Carvey
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| It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin. Author: Dave Barry
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| The only one that got through was Jimmy Walker, because he plays the gas station attendant. I mean, there's nothing wrong with it, it's just that we were kind of purists at the time, and we didn't want any comedians. Author: David Zucker
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| There is a class system in acting just like in anything else. Black females fall in a category below black male actors. Author: Debra Wilson
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| I used to like writing for comedians - I enjoyed the challenge of making other people funny. Author: Denis Norden
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| The comedians all finished their acts with a song. They would get a certain amount of money from the song publishers and would use that money to pay the writers. None of them paid very much for their comedy material, but it all added up. Author: Denis Norden
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| Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female. Author: Desmond Morris
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| Years ago I wanted to buy an apartment in New York City. I was a single female - I had gone through my divorce - I had three children, I was in show business and black. It was, like, impossible. Author: Diana Ross
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| Through her paintings, she breaks all the taboos of the woman's body and of female sexuality. Author: Diego Rivera
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| I thought comedians had to have black on their faces or red beards. Author: Dorothy Gish
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| Generally speaking, historically in this country, the care of a child has been thought of as female business. Author: Eddie Bernice Johnson
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| Well, I happen to believe all business is female business. Author: Eddie Bernice Johnson
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| I understand by this passion the union of desire, friendship, and tenderness, which is inflamed by a single female, which prefers her to the rest of her sex, and which seeks her possession as the supreme or the sole happiness of our being. Author: Edward Gibbon
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| Looking at female candidates today, other women are the hardest on them, especially older women who were brought up in a different culture. Author: Eleanor Clift
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| African-American women account for 67 percent of all newly diagnosed female AIDS cases. Author: Elijah Cummings
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| You know, Mamet is not a huge writer of female parts. Most of his movies don't even have women in them, so I'm lucky I'm in it at all. Author: Elle Macpherson
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| And it's absolutely true that male sexual behaviour and female responses to male demands change a lot when they start communicating - and the levels of the communication that I've seen on the ground in very, very poor areas are so high and I think why don't we have that here? Author: Emma Thompson
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| In inquiring concerning the benefits of the plan proposed, I shall proceed upon the supposition that female seminaries will be patronized throughout our country. Author: Emma Willard
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| Yes. I was the first female colonel. I enjoyed being that kind of role model for young women watching the show. A woman can be a colonel! A woman can be in charge! Those were new ideas then. Author: Erin Gray
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| There is a great reform required in the education and habits of females. Author: Ezra Cornell
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| The jargon of sculptors is beyond me. I do not know precisely why I admire a green granite female, apparently pregnant monster with one eye going around a square corner. Author: Ezra Pound
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| We've always been ready for female superheroes. Because women want to be them and men want to do them. Author: Famke Janssen
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| I said I thought female labour of the sort exacted from these slaves, and corporal chastisement such as they endure, must be abhorrent to any manly or humane man. Author: Fanny Kemble
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| We shelter children for a time; we live side by side with men; and that is all. We owe them nothing, and are owed nothing. I think we owe our friends more, especially our female friends. Author: Fay Weldon
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| Half of the great comedians I've had in my shows and that I paid a lot of money to and who made my customers shriek were not only not funny to me, but I couldn't understand why they were funny to anybody. Author: Florenz Ziegfeld
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| There shall be no slave in your home, male or female: Least of all the mother of your son. Author: Franz Grillparzer
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| Blue is the male principle, stern and spiritual. Yellow the female principle, gentle, cheerful and sensual. Red is matter, brutal and heavy and always the colour which must be fought and vanquished by the other two. Author: Franz Marc
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| I'm not just a model who plays volleyball, or a volleyball player who supports herself modeling. I'm a female athlete personality. Author: Gabrielle Reece
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| As an Independent, she has no party backing... Her being the first Independent president trumps the fact that she's a woman. It causes even more upheaval in Washington than her being female. Author: Geena Davis
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| So many other countries have had female leaders, in fact the U.S. ranks 61st in female representation in government and I think it is startling and sign of a change that needs to be made. Author: Geena Davis
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| We're making this as entertainment. But God willing, if this show stays on and people see a woman in that office for a while, I think it will help people become more used to it. It's certainly about time that we had a few female presidents. Author: Geena Davis
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| We're showing kids a world that is very scantily populated with women and female characters. They should see female characters taking up half the planet, which we do. Author: Geena Davis
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| I wanted to do - there was this film called 'Magic' that Anthony Hopkins did. And the director wanted me. The writer wanted me. Joe Levine said no, I don't want any comedians in this. Author: Gene Wilder
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| The ballet is a purely female thing; it is a woman, a garden of beautiful flowers, and man is the gardener. Author: George Balanchine
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| For in Jesus Christ there is neither male nor female, bond nor free; even you may be the children of God, if you believe in Jesus. Author: George Whitefield
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| What we ought to see in the agonies of puberty is the result of the conditioning that maims the female personality in creating the feminine. Author: Germaine Greer
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| For much of the female half of the world, food is the first signal of our inferiority. It lets us know that our own families may consider female bodies to be less deserving, less needy, less valuable. Author: Gloria Steinem
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| If women are supposed to be less rational and more emotional at the beginning of our menstrual cycle when the female hormone is at its lowest level, then why isn't it logical to say that, in those few days, women behave the most like the way men behave all month long? Author: Gloria Steinem
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| I feel I'm as qualified for office as any of the other comedians who are running. Author: Grace Hansen
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| The essence of life is the smile of round female bottoms, under the shadow of cosmic boredom. Author: Guy de Maupassant
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| In America, every female under fifty calls herself a girl. Author: H. E. Bates
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| The sum and substance of female education in America, as in England, is training women to consider marriage as the sole object in life, and to pretend that they do not think so. Author: Harriet Martineau
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